Respect is a big deal to me. I am so blessed to have a wife who has always affirmed her respect for me. I can’t begin to tell you how life-giving that is. Through the years as a pastor, the most consistent message I have given to wives is this…”Your husband can do without a lot of things, but the ONE thing he cannot do without is RESPECT.” If you want to crush a man’s spirit just let him know that you don’t respect him.
But the flip side of this issue is that we must live and lead in such a way that we warrant respect. This week I had 2 separate conversations with people in ministry. If I had to use one phrase to describe the frustrations and cynicism they were feeling, it would be the phrase “lack of respect”. Both people had come to the place where they had lost respect for their pastor. They had stopped believing in the person that is their leader.
These 2 ministers are not newbies to church life… they do not naively put their pastor up on a pedestal. They don’t expect their pastor to be perfect but they do expect him exemplify the character and heart of a shepherd.
So, what do you do when you have lost respect for the person who is your leader? Do you hang in there and hope it will change? Do you leave? Do you just do your job and say “he’s not my responsibility”?
Personally, I don’t think there is one right answer for everybody or for all situations.
Here is a question that I have found helpful through the years Is the situation your in ‘good hard’ or ‘destructive hard’? There are times when God calls on us to make sacrifices and stay in a difficult situation. However, there are times when the situation becomes destructive… to our soul, to our emotional health, to our family. When you discern that your situation has become destructive, maybe it is time to consider a change.
In the next blog we’ll talk about 3 things that erodes respect from those we lead.
Posted on
Sunday, April 19, 2009
by Lance Witt
filed under