Last night we had some friends over. We shared dinner and laughs and talked about our marriages. We shared how we met, funny stories about our weddings, what attracted us to our spouse, and even advice we would give another young couple about marriage.
One of the pastors in the room mentioned that he had been doing quite a bit of marriage counseling in recent weeks. He said “I’ve noticed a common thread for each of these couples. They’re just not friends.”
His comment really stuck with me the rest of the night. “They’re just not friends.” I wondered “How are Connie and I doing with our FRIENDSHIP”? It is so easy to get busy with life and ultimately end up simply co-existing in the same house. By the way, this will really come back to haunt you once the kids have left the house. There is nothing like it just being the two of you in the house to expose years of neglect in your marriage. You didn’t mean for it to happen and your not quite sure how you got there, but your marriage is not in a good place. It ended up looking more like a business partnership than an intimate relationship between lifelong friends.
I don’t know where you are in this… but if you’ve been married more than a year, I suspect you know exactly what I am talking about. For those of you who still have kids at home, let me give you a head’s up. One day the kids will leave home (and that’s a good thing). And it’s really hard work transitioning a business partnership into an intimate friendship. Keep the friendship fresh and alive!!
Posted on
Thursday, March 5, 2009
by Lance Witt